[Sad music plays?] Have you ever tried to piece bits of you together but ended up in ruins? I haven’t and I don’t think this scene needs music [Music wasn’t playing but stops anyways]. I am trying to say something here. About one of those boys born to a day never to be their own. I am trying. No reds. No smokes. Has it ever gotten so quiet you could hear yourself blink? I did and I lied earlier. I know how boys and girls break. But screaming doesn’t count after midnight. Crying does. One, two, three times it happened. In one summertime, all three times. Dancers count up from five. Am I doing this wrong? Whatever. Have you ever had a man feel up your butt? Plot twist: you don’t know why he is doing what he is doing or even what he is doing. You figure it twenty-some years laters. Yeah, we’re here now.
Sometimes growing up is just light thrown on all your blind spots. And it’s always too late. How long are your showers? Mine are long. But the longest was when I was asked to clean someone’s penis with my hands and mouth. Maybe there was something about me. Maybe not knowing what an erection was. Maybe not knowing what it means to have to have an erection in your mouth. Maybe because everyone else was busy watching. It was dark. That’s what friends do right? They watch in silence. But, when I was done, nobody wanted my erection in their mouth. And I didn’t even have one. So confusing. But twenty-some years laters we get it, don’t we? I did learn a thing or two, that summertime. Biking with no (support?). Is that the word?
So happy. I learned girls can open their arms and say I love you. And I also learned what it feels to have a penis between your butt-cheeks. Are you counting? All it took was to keep a conversation going. Can you imagine? Don’t answer me. I was easier back then. Just chitchat and I kept that penis between my cheeks. But then the pain kicked in and no words were enough. No sir. Some time after, it stopped. The conversation, the erection and the pain. They all gave way to tears. Not much. But how much is much when you don’t understand. Before you, I told someone else, and they asked if I can also keep their penis between my cheeks. Training wheels. I think that’s the word.
